Not a genuine Indian, Maybe

Much has been said, there have been enough talks, it has made headlines. Yet every morning, fresh cases echoed into our ears and it never cease. This happened not to everyone, not to their family, not to their relatives, and not to their countrymen.Pun intended.

Ever since I was born, I was never told that I am not an Indian. I was a proud Indian. I learned the history of our great empires and dynasties. I learned about the history of our freedom struggles and how our country got independence from the British's rule. Every year when Republic Day comes, I along with all my friends would rush to my uncle's place who has a TV to watch live the Republic Day event happening far away in the capital city of the country. How I wish I was there. On that day, every state takes turn to demonstrate their rich culture and how proud I feel to see my Manipur lining up the queue. I never knew that Manipur was not a part of India. Every 15th August, I feel proud to be an Indian when I  sing "Jana Gana Mana...." with all my friends, without giving a thought that it was the anthem of another country, and not my own.

When I first came to Delhi, I never thought or even imagine that I would be treated like an "outsider" in my own country. I never knew that the North Eastern states of India were not a part of India. I never knew that North East India was in Nepal or in China. I never knew that I would be racially abused because of my looks.

When I start college at the University of Delhi, I never imagine that my fellow classmates would called me an outsider, a foreigner, a Nepali, a chinky and throws buckets of questions about my identity and the place where I come from.

When I tell my seniors that I cannot speak Hindi, I never imagine that I would be mocked and laughed at, asked about the country where I come from and many other strange questions.

Delhi as a city was, and still is, my love. I liked the city from every angle; the good, the bad and everything that is in it. I don't mind being called a "Nepali" or "chinky" by someone who is illiterate. My landlord who is illiterate used to called me a Nepali when I first moved in, I would tell him that I am not a Nepali but an Indian coming from an Indian state called Manipur which is much bigger than Delhi. When the 'pani'-guy (water) refer me as "chinky" to his subordinates, for they do not know.

People say ignorance is bliss and I ignored as much as I could, for I know this could happened anywhere, even in my part of the country where someone of a typical looking Indian be called a foreigner.

But should I remain silent when this is done intentionally? Should I keep ignoring when an educated fellow called me names? All this because I don't "looked like an Indian". How should an Indian looked like? India is a country of diverse culture and traditions, I have a firm believe that every literate people know about this.

In my first year of college, I had to filled a form and I had missed to put a signature in the form. The guy who was handling the papers told me something in Hindi which I didn't quite understand. I told him to repeat in English as I don't understand Hindi. Instead of repeating, he asked me which country I came from. I told him I am from India, he didn't believe me and thought it was a joke and gave a strange laugh. Just because I couldn't speak Hindi, I was treated like an outsider. To them, an Indian should know "how to speak Hindi". They speak Hindi not because they are Indian, but because it is their mother-tongue. Likewise, I have my mother-tongue. Being from a land where Hindi is not spoken, my knowledge of the language is limited to buying veggies, hiring and negotiating autos and bargaining at the famous Saroijini Market.

Every day after college, I had to take either the bus or the metro to reach home. At bus stop, almost every auto drivers would asked me where I was going because they thought I was a foreigner who will not use public transport. The same happened when I stepped out of metro stations, all because I don't look like an Indian.

Inside the class, there is no direct discrimination in my near surrounding but sometimes I am left out of conversations because I don't know how to speak Hindi. There is a guy who constantly called me a Nepali, no matter how much I keep telling him I am not from Nepal. He would make fun of me in his native tongue, I do know what but I could understand the sarcasm in his tone. He has the guts to even asked me: "Why did you come to my country?" "Is there any college in your country?". He knew well I am an Indian, from the many introductions we did when college begins. His intentions were clear, he doesn't want an "outsider" in his class.

There is an old woman (I am not giving the respect of calling her "grandma") living across the next building. Whenever I cross the building, she would always stared at me because I am an "outsider".

While travelling on the bus or in the metro, passengers would gave weird glances at me, because I am an "outsider".

I am proud to be who I am. I am proud of my Mongoloid looks.I am not a proud Indian. I am not proud to be an Indian. Maybe I am wrong to call myself an Indian.